the Wry Baby Blog

Black Friday is almost upon us and I don’t know WHAT to do! I’ve poured over ALL the circulars (whew!) from Wal-Mart, Target, Rite-Aid and Best Buy and finally decided what my loved ones are getting for the holidays (based, of course, on what’s been discounted the deepest!). I don’t really even know if my wife needs a $3 toaster from Target, but ..it’s only $3 people!!! Who WOULDN’T want a toaster for $3!?

Oh, the choices I’m faced with that make the holidays so stressful! What store will I camp out in front of? Wal-Mart has such a giant parking lot, I’m sure to stake out some nice overnight square footage for me and my shopping posse. But will I get to Best Buy fast enough before they sell through the half-price HD TV I’ve had my eye on since two days ago? I was sure to read the fine print on the second revision of the official double-secret leaked flyer that explained that they’re only stocking 2 of every discounted item. But I don’t believe that for a second! They’re just trying to keep people from getting hurt in the door-opening, blind stampede like last year. But that won’t happen again. They’ll probably have better security or something because they’re still stocking so few of what everyone’s coming for, right?

Anyway, I’m well prepared for all the idiots I’ll be surrounded by. I’ve got my elbows at the ready to jab anyone who thinks they can take what’s rightfully mine (or Granpa Ron’s). I’m here to shop for my loved ones, Dammit! And that Nerf Machine Gun for 70% off is going to be MINE!

I guess in the end you’ve got to make your choices and live with them. The holidays are ALWAYS so stressful anyway, right? Somehow, for some reason, it seems more so every year doesn’t it? I guess that’s just a sign of the times and there’s nothin’ you can do about it. I’d better just finalize my strategy and hope for the best. After all, I’ve got to get started on my Day-After-Christmas battle plan!

Just a friendly reminder, folks, that there’s a way to keep out of the Black Friday trap. Visit your local Mom & Pop (like Suburban Martini, pictured above. On the right, of course). You’ll find a truly unique gift for everyone on your list, help your community and have a quiet, happy holiday. Use the wrybaby.com super-deluxe STORE FINDER to find a fun, special shop in YOUR neighborhood.