the Wry Baby Blog

THE STORY SO FAR
Mysterio, under deadline to deliver his cute baby t-shirts to Wry Baby before the holiday season, just misses his ship. Against his better judgment, he accepts the offer of a Captain who travels a risky route.

With my crates of cute-but-incredibly-precient baby tee shirts aboard, we set sail for America. The seas we’re calm and the trade winds favored our course and I was, for the first time in days able to give rest to my powerful mind. Suddenly, alarms were sounding and crewmen were swarming toward the top deck. I grabbed my cloak and joined the throng and once top side I grabbed the Captain as he rushed by for an explanation. It was no more than twenty minutes into our journey and we were being besieged by PIRATES!

I had no time to regret my decision to sail in risky waters, for before I knew it, the entire crew lay dead and I was standing, stripped to my briefs (somehow), face to face with the PIRATE CAPTAIN! “The famous Infant Mentalist, Mysterio! Finally we meet!”, he shouted at me through an electronic bullhorn. Damn my fame! He knew who I was! “It is every Pirates’ dream to carry the prize of your well-crafted and wildly unique baby t-shirts, but I have other plans!”, again, shouting at me through that infernal bullhorn. “Your cute-but-all-knowing baby t-shirts are valuable indeed, but what ransom would new parents worldwide pay to have their precious seer back predicting their babies’ futures?” He smiled and rubbed his stubbly chin. “And while I wait for that ransom to be delivered, I shall force you to view our Pirate children to determine who will be merciless, blood-thirsty killers and who will become shanty singers or deck swabbers or something.” Damn my cursed talent! “And what if I refuse!?”, I cried without sounding like I was actually crying (which I was, but deep down inside). The pirate Captain laughed through the bullhorn.”Then you shall suffer the Ordeal of the Octopi!!!” At this every pirate gasped.

I had heard of the Ordeal of the Octopi as a child, but thought it was merely a tale told to make children eat unpleasant bits of meals. The victim is tied to the main mast and beaten non-stop with live octopi until dead. It might not sound so bad, but it often takes as many as thirty to forty octopi and six whole days until the victim succumbs. Even then, death occurs from dehydration rather than the actual beating. I was thrown, still nearly nude and shivering into a holding cell in the deepest recess of the cargo hold. Left alone to ponder my eventual doom.

CLICK HERE to Read Chapter 3 of MYSTERIO’S HIGH-SEA ADVENTURE!

Click here to read Chapter One.

Twelve possible futures, each one sealed in a cute muslin bag. What future awaits YOUR child? Find out now! Look for Mysterio Predicts ($12.95) in a fun gift store near you or online at wrybaby.com.