the Wry Baby Blog

I don’t think it’s just me, but when you’re a kid and you see something incredible (at least to you then at that early point in life) it burns into your imagination so deep that it stays with you forever. You never lose the initial feeling of wonder about it. Pompeii was one of many of those things for me. That a whole city was decimated by a volcano yet perfectly preserved by it at the same time was just fascinating to me as a kid. The Discovery Place in Charlotte helped me rekindle that fascination by playing host to A Day in Pompeii. A traveling exhibit of artifacts exhumed from Pompeii and a detailed time line of what exactly happened that fateful day in the summer of 79 A.D.

No, these kids aren’t on the phone, there’s a terrific audio tour that’s geared for kids and a separate audio program for adults.

From recovered pottery, coins and sculptures to colorful frescoes recovered from the walls of preserved homes to detailed plaster casts of the homeowners themselves who couldn’t escape, the exhibit was incredibly informative. The many artifacts are so incredibly preserved and so beautiful, too. Did you know that the Vesuvius erupted at 6 am and by 3 pm Pompeii was buried under 5 feet of ash and rock? Incredible.

Surprisingly, Charlotte was the exhibit’s last stop having only been to three other stops before it leaves the US. And major metros like NY, SF and LA weren’t on the schedule, either. I felt truly lucky to be able to see this terrific collection.

A Pompeian man covers his mouth with a cloth before succumbing to the volcanic gases.

For more information on Pompeii, check out the Soprintendenza Archeologica di Pompei website. They were responsible for this exhibit. There you can take a virtual tour of Pompeii and look in on current Pompeian excavations and restorations.

When I was 8 I saw this film in elementary school and it got lodged in my brain FOREVER. I’ve searched for the 1969 short film, “Winter of the Witch”, for so very long and it’s finally appeared on youtube in two parts. While it’s a little Halloweeny (witches!), it also features a lot of snow (wintery!) and it’s silly Seventies message is so positive that I can’t wait until next October to turn you on to it.

The Witch is played by Hermione Gingold who had earlier played the part of Mrs. Shinn (the Mayor’s wife) in another Wry Baby favorite, 1962’s Music Man.

Take 20 minutes at the breakfast table with your kids and get happy.

Winter of the Witch - Part One:

Winter of the Witch - Part Two:

Ms. Gingold in the Music Man (the lady with the big orange hat with all the feathers)

THE STORY SO FAR
Mysterio engages the help of a very hairy female pirate to plot an escape from the vicious pirates.

Together the hairy pirate woman and I concocted a plan for my escape. With some crude scissors found in the hold and some bits of splintered wood, we worked for hours on end. Jars of pigment were hidden in the lush folds of the lady pirate’s thick body hair as were bits of curtain from the Captain’s chamber. Yes, all was smuggled to my cell where I could work unseen using every bit of fantastic talent that Allah had cursed me with. Finally the stage was set. Once we knew the Pirate crew to be asleep we put set our plan into action!

When the crew awoke, they found themselves tied firmly with the strongest, yet most luxurious thread they had ever seen. Each Pirate was wrapped in a contrasting thread that complimented his pirate garb perfectly. A Pirate in blue, wrapped with golden orange thread awoke first and his startled cries eventually alerted the entire ship. The Captain, cross-stitched high upon the main sail was the last to awaken and his expletives could barely be heard from where we sat laughing. Our plan had worked perfectly. Once we shaved the entirety of the lady pirates copious hair we employed my extraordinary seamster skills to weave it into the strongest of steely thread. Then it was just a matter of coloring each length of hair-rope to match the pirate that was to be bound. Remarkably simple! The lady pirate then acted as our Captain, guiding us into the port of Charleston, SC (she even acted as our customs agent).

At last, once my precious cargo of baby t-shirts was unloaded onto a locomotive, we bid farewell to each other and I climbed aboard for the short journey to Mooresville, North Carolina where I would deliver my goods to Wry Baby. The lady pirate sailed off into the sunset, her now bald head twinkling in the dusk. And the Pirate Captain? What of he and his crew? If you ever find yourself in the great city of Charleston, South Carolina, ask a local guide to take you to Union Pier. There you can see the rotting corpses of the crew hanging in rusty iron cages and the Captains’ head impaled on a great stake near the cruise terminal that reads, “Pyrates an’ Their Brethren Be Warned!”.

Thank you, Dear Reader, for hearing my tale of high sea adventure. I’m proud to say that you may find the very items that survived this fantastic adventure in a specialty boutique near you. Please be sure to tell your local shopkeeper that Mysterio sent you and told you all about his incredible ordeal. You both may wish to have a laugh over it! And for those of you dear Readers with little ones, I wish you and yours a very happy holiday and a merry New Year.

WE HOPE YOU ENJOYED MYSTERIO’S HIGH-SEA ADVENTURE!

Click here to read Chapter One.

Click here to read Chapter Two.

Click here to read Chapter Three.

Twelve possible futures, each one sealed in a cute muslin bag. What future awaits YOUR child? Find out now! Look for Mysterio Predicts ($12.95) in a fun gift store near you or online at wrybaby.com.

Whether you’re bidding a fond farewll to your man George or welcoming in the new guy, your baby can witness this historic event in style. Our thick, 100% cotton political baby outfits are OVER 60% OFF now until the end of January. Be sure to get yours now so you’ll have it for the big day on January 20th!

Teeny Republican and Tiny Democrat baby outfits only $14 now at wrybaby.com

Kelly has this fantasy every year that when we visit our quaint, little Christmas tree lot, that we’ll take a loving family portrait to send to friends and relatives. Just like normal people do. Well, seems every year something goes wrong and smashes that dream to pieces. Last year was probably the worst. Atticus and I were goofing around and the roughhouseing a little too far (as kids do) and things just got out of control. We were able to salvage the day and get a good one of Kelly and the Boy before we had to get his teeth in a container of ice and him off to the dentist for a little emergency work. Enjoy this card and our warmest wishes for you and your family, from our family at Wry Baby.

THE STORY SO FAR
Mysterio’s cargo ship has been attacked by ruthless pirates. The pirates plan to hold him for ransom and force him to use his mental powers for evil instead of for cute baby t-shirts. Mysterio is in a holding cell, deep inside the ship, awaiting his doom.

I lie in my cell clothed only in my Calvin Klein bikini briefs and my turban, bravely sobbing into my rotten, moldy pillow. Suddenly the hatch opened and in stepped the hairiest Pirate I had ever seen! Hair seemed to stream from every crevice. Hair exploded from every pore. I was stunned and very much impressed, struggling to make sense of the furry creature before me when suddenly the hairy beast fell upon me, feverishly whispering, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” over and over whilst trying to kiss me repeatedly about the facial region.

I politely, but forcefully, held the hairy thing away. After all, I had only been at sea for perhaps 45 minutes and didn’t want to burn any bridges if my imprisonment were to last longer than expected. “You do not understand!” squealed the beast once I had wrestled it to the floor. “You, great Mysterio, predicted long ago that this Mother’s son would one day blossom into a Flamenco Dancer and, now twenty years later, he has fulfilled that DESTINY! He is rich beyond measure and his sexiness is now a thing of legend, just as you predicted!” The hairy thing now towered above me, and now began shouting. “My son’s Flamenco dancing is sought after worldwide! He has begun taping a reality show for E! called, “The Flamenco Kid” and he has been asked to dance during President-Elect Obama’s Inaguration! Not after or before the swearing in, mind you, but DURING! He is that good.” In the uncomfortable silence that followed, I quickly surmised that this hairy thing was a woman. “Great Mysterio, for all you have done for my family, for all you have done for the children of the world, I cannot let you be beaten by several octopi until dead!” Then, sweeping aside the thick, long hair from the top of her lip to be heard clearly she whispered, “I shall help you escape!”

Stay tuned for Chapter 4 of MYSTERIO’S HIGH-SEA ADVENTURE!

Click here to read Chapter One.

Click here to read Chapter Two.

Twelve possible futures, each one sealed in a cute muslin bag. What future awaits YOUR child? Find out now! Look for Mysterio Predicts ($12.95) in a fun gift store near you or online at wrybaby.com.

THE STORY SO FAR
Mysterio, under deadline to deliver his cute baby t-shirts to Wry Baby before the holiday season, just misses his ship. Against his better judgment, he accepts the offer of a Captain who travels a risky route.

With my crates of cute-but-incredibly-precient baby tee shirts aboard, we set sail for America. The seas we’re calm and the trade winds favored our course and I was, for the first time in days able to give rest to my powerful mind. Suddenly, alarms were sounding and crewmen were swarming toward the top deck. I grabbed my cloak and joined the throng and once top side I grabbed the Captain as he rushed by for an explanation. It was no more than twenty minutes into our journey and we were being besieged by PIRATES!

I had no time to regret my decision to sail in risky waters, for before I knew it, the entire crew lay dead and I was standing, stripped to my briefs (somehow), face to face with the PIRATE CAPTAIN! “The famous Infant Mentalist, Mysterio! Finally we meet!”, he shouted at me through an electronic bullhorn. Damn my fame! He knew who I was! “It is every Pirates’ dream to carry the prize of your well-crafted and wildly unique baby t-shirts, but I have other plans!”, again, shouting at me through that infernal bullhorn. “Your cute-but-all-knowing baby t-shirts are valuable indeed, but what ransom would new parents worldwide pay to have their precious seer back predicting their babies’ futures?” He smiled and rubbed his stubbly chin. “And while I wait for that ransom to be delivered, I shall force you to view our Pirate children to determine who will be merciless, blood-thirsty killers and who will become shanty singers or deck swabbers or something.” Damn my cursed talent! “And what if I refuse!?”, I cried without sounding like I was actually crying (which I was, but deep down inside). The pirate Captain laughed through the bullhorn.”Then you shall suffer the Ordeal of the Octopi!!!” At this every pirate gasped.

I had heard of the Ordeal of the Octopi as a child, but thought it was merely a tale told to make children eat unpleasant bits of meals. The victim is tied to the main mast and beaten non-stop with live octopi until dead. It might not sound so bad, but it often takes as many as thirty to forty octopi and six whole days until the victim succumbs. Even then, death occurs from dehydration rather than the actual beating. I was thrown, still nearly nude and shivering into a holding cell in the deepest recess of the cargo hold. Left alone to ponder my eventual doom.

Stay tuned for Chapters 3 - 4 of MYSTERIO’S HIGH-SEA ADVENTURE!

Click here to read Chapter One.

Twelve possible futures, each one sealed in a cute muslin bag. What future awaits YOUR child? Find out now! Look for Mysterio Predicts ($12.95) in a fun gift store near you or online at wrybaby.com.

AN INTRODUCTION
by Wry Baby Co-Founder, Dave Sopp

When we started working with and importing for Mysterio, we knew we were in for an adventure. Mysterio has been predicting baby futures onto his cute baby t-shirts for three years now and we couldn’t be happier with our partnership. Mysterio offers a baby shower gift that, in our eyes, trumps every baby shower gift that exists today or shall ever exist. Knowing your child’s future is such a benefit to new parents in countless ways and it’s Wry Baby’s pleasure to bring Mysterio’s incredible gift to new Moms and Dads around the world. Although we’ve had our share of business quarrels and Mysterio’s social graces often have much to be desired, we deeply respect his mental powers and consider him a friend as well as a trusted vendor.

A few months ago we had requested a re-order of Mysterio’s amazing baby t-shirts and he was happy to accept our tighter-than-usual deadline. Later, on the day we needed his shipment on the water, he wired to say that he had finished and was rushing to the docks to get his baby t-shirts on a ship. That was the last we’d heard from Mysterio. Repeated calls to his undisclosed production facility went unanswered and we began to become worried. There were many high-end gift stores and boutiques awaiting their Mysterio orders and he and his precious cargo had all but vanished.

Weeks later, just when we were about to give up hope and begin searching for a new mystic, Mysterio reappeared in our offices, with his entire shipment! Haggard, nearly nude and covered in what looked like bits of cut hair, Mysterio related his adventure to Kelly and I. It was so fantastic that I asked him to put it to paper so that his admirers could understand what a man like Mysterio is willing to endure to insure the happiness of new parents everywhere. Ladies and Gentleman, I give you Mysterio’s High-Sea Adventure!

Chapter One: “Oh, To See Into My Own Future!”

For those few who do not know me, I am Mysterio, the famous Infant Mentalist. What is an Infant Mentalist you ask? You see, dear uninformed Reader, I possess the amazing ability to predict any child’s FUTURE! I merely peer into the mist of DESTINY and, using the mental powers of my mind, emblazon that child’s future onto a darling cotton lap shoulder t-shirt of my express specification and construction. As talented as I am a diviner of the future, I am also a highly accomplished seamster! New parents across the globe tap my incredible talents and countless scores of babies proudly wear my predictions about their towns showing the world they know exactly where they are headed in life.

I market my incredible wares through Wry Baby, a small buiness that creates so-called “Fun Baby Clothes” or some such nonsense, and it is with Wry Baby that my story begins. “Do you want me to come over there and beat those predictions out of you? ‘Cause I’ll do it, so help me, Mysterio!”, shouted Kelly Sopp, Wry Baby’s co-founder. “I’ve got stores that need those predictions for the Holidays! Got it, Future-Boy?! Snap to it!”. Since I began exporting to Wry Baby, our notoriety and fame had risen together. Soon I was gracing the pages of Pregnancy Magazine, Time Out NY Kids and even the coveted Gifts & Decorative Accessories! My world has become a whirlwind of parties and paparazzi and managing friend requests on Facebook. But as more people learned of my astonishing powers, Wry Baby’s orders became increasingly unreasonable! I soon was forced to go into hiding to complete the never ending stream of Wry Baby orders. The quantities for this Holiday season were by far the most outlandish and my hidden shoppe had been in full production for months. My head swelled with the over-use of my fantastic abilities, but with a large ice compress tucked into my turban and a crate of Tropical flavor Emergen-C, I pushed my powers to their breaking point! Then…success! I had finished, but not quite as expediently as I’d hoped. For as my cart of wares rolled to a halt at the dock, I saw my cargo ship just cresting the horizon on it’s way to America!

That is when a voice beside me said in a deep, throaty (but not in a sexy way at all) whisper, “My Friend. Do not worry. I have a fine ship that can carry your precious cargo to America. And we will make it on your schedule if you don’t mind taking a…slight risk.” Oh, to have the power to see into my own future (which I had not been able to do since I was an infant myself)! Do I risk sailing my goods through unsafe shipping lanes to confirm the destinies of so many newborn children? Being cursed with this mighty gift, I could only say…yes. Yes, I will hold my head up high and risk all for those who cannot hold their heads up at all unless they have someone hold it up for them because their necks are so floppy. But little did I know how much I would eventually sacrifice!

Stay tuned for Chapters 2 - 4 of MYSTERIO’S HIGH-SEA ADVENTURE!

Twelve possible futures, each one sealed in a cute muslin bag. What future awaits YOUR child? Find out now! Look for Mysterio Predicts ($12.95) in a fun gift store near you or online at wrybaby.com.

While we’re all awaiting Mysterio’s tale of high-sea adventure over the Holiday break, I just found out that our own baby t-shirt-making partner has been up to some adventure in bloody ole England, as well! Apparently Mysterio’s US popularity made him a must-have baby gift for the Brits! Checking out the UK web store, Firebox.com, it looks like Mysterio’s predicted some very anglocentric futures for every British basin o’ gravy.

The British version of Mysterio Predicts is available at firebox.com for £9.95
If you’re a UK lollipop looking to stock some unique baby gifts in your bottle of pop, you may contact Mysterio through his UK distributer, Wild & Wolfe.

Why are the British Mysterio baby tees blue and pink? A spokesperson for Mysterio explained that the Brits don’t have baby showers like we Yanks. The baby shower is thrown AFTER the baby’s born. So, the sex of the baby is known and gifters can gift accordingly. A bit Easter Bunny, but it’s true!